Homosexuality Evolving in South Korea

or what to expect if you’re gonna teach there and you’re gay.

Homosexuality has come a long way in Korea in the last few years. By this I mean that some Koreans believe they exist and are not just a figment of the imagination! In no way are they accepted members of society, but some are realizing that there are gay Koreans and it’s not just a myth. To give you a proper setting for the homo scene in Seoul, just picture a 1920s speak easy. Everyone is loud, inside, drinking and wearing fishnets but outside there are military men doing their rounds to catch US soldiers out past curfew.

If you’re a lesbian:

There are several closed door clubs in the Hongdae neighborhood of Seoul. The girls have no features that distinguish them from a normal, heterosexual girl. The behavior of girls holding hands and walking arm and arm is accepted in Korea as a straight thing to do, so when you see two lesbians doing it, you can’t tell.  One of my friends was dating a Korean girl. This phantom Korean lesbian was 21 and living with her parents. She had not come out to them. She had been in several gay relationships over the years without slipping up once to her parents. My friend wanted to come to her house once. Korean lesbian said “No, the day you come over to my house is the day I come out.” That day is scheduled for never.

There are also some gay clubs in Itaewon.  Itaewon is known as a foreigner slum although it is busily eing redressed in gentrification.  But really, that’s more Haebongchon than Itaewon.  Right next to hooker hill is the fabulous homo hill.

Here I have hung out with gay friends on the weekends and met endlessly fascinating people with all sorts of sorted backgrounds.

One really nice girl — I will call her Sweetie — was in her first year of college at an all-girl school. She realized she was gay less than a year ago and had trouble dealing with it. My friend and her Korean girlfriend took Sweetie under their wing to clubs and weekend trips trying to help her. At the time she only knew of a couple lesbians and they lived an hour away or more. She was very lonely. Then after several months of hanging out with us, she stumbled upon a girl she had never talked to before, but who she recognized from her University. She was so happy to find someone like herself. She wasn’t alone anymore. Finally, she had someone to talk to. A real friend.

If you are gay:

There really aren’t any gay clubs outside Homo Hill or Itaewon for men except in Jungro.  But sadly, Jungro is a “Korean Only” gayborhood.  You can enter if invited by another Korean male but this is rare and rarer still that a female be invited it so I have little to share about this place.  There is also a notoriously gay Coffee Bean in Insa-dong. Korea doesn’t accept gays and this is a looming fear for those inside a gay club or coffee shop. There are attacks against gays that occur here still, even with the growing numbers of acceptance and awareness. If you go to homo hill enough times you will hear stories and maybe be unfortunate enough to see some bad things go down.

While I have not been witness to a hate crime, I remember the night I heard a story that scared me real good. One of my friends had witnessed a girl getting her face smashed into a wall by a group of guys assuming she was a lesbian coming out of homo hill. My friend personally knew her and knew she was straight.  She was just there with a gay friend.  She lived with minor injury but that is still a very unnerving story.

American army-fatigued guards march through homo hill every few hours looking for GIs out past their curfew. No one wants to get caught at homo hill at 3 in the morning. A lot of guys hide in jim jil bangs (saunas) or stay inside the club or bar for the remainder of the night. A gay club, called Pulse Season Two, recently opened on the main strip of Itaewon, away from the notorious hill and it’s very popular after hours.

Getting off of “the hill” is a huge step for gays to get acceptance.  Unfortunately there aren’t any gay clubs outside Seoul or Busan, which means that many of the men at Homo Hill travel an hour to two and a half hours to get there.

There is a Gay Pride parade in Seoul. Around this year’s Gay Pride I heard many complaints, mostly coming from foreigners who had experienced parades in New York and LA.  Their standards were set very high and they were left wanting.  The parade was filled with men and women wearing mask and arm badges. The arm badges or chest signs said that no media could photograph, film or interview them. Korean gays are afraid of ruining their family life and losing their jobs if outted. Many Foreigners who participated complained that this was more of a shame festival then a pride festival. My gay friend from New York thought it was terribly depressing compared to the pride parades in New York, Hollywood and San Francisco. I used to live in West Hollywood and I have to agree.

There is a week-long gay film festival at a club on the corner of homo hill every year.  It usually follows the small parade.  Foreigners and Koreans alike celebrate by drinking, wearing glow-in-the-dark face paint and sporting crazy costumes.

Some of the gay Koreans I have met have heartbreaking stories. This kid whose English name is Chris is only eighteen years old. He lives on the streets in Suwon. His family kicked him out of his house; he dropped out of school and was now jumping from one guy to the next for food and shelter.

I met was a Korean American from Las Vegas at the hill. He hated it in Seoul and couldn’t wait to leave. He left for West Hollywood a few months later. Yet, another guy I met was Korean, thirty and looking to open a bar in West Hollywood and “get the heck out of Korea,” but is still working at his bar near the DMZ. He drives two hours to get to homo hill but has no other choice.  There really aren’t many options for gay Koreans.

My favorite gay Korean was Nine (English name) and he tried to move to Japan.  Before he left for Tokyo I remember him telling me “if I come back to Korea it will be when my boyfriend is finally ready to grow up and accept himself…..ready to go to Canada and get married.” His boyfriend was Korean Canadian and Nine had turned thirty two years old.  Nine was back a year later boyfriendless and opened a gay bar on the hill.  It has since gone out of business as gay foreigners and Koreans try to leave the sketchy hill behind and expand to more diverse settings like Haebongchon, and the main strip.

I believe homophobic roots run deep in Korea. But change is taking place, albeit very slowly. One just needs to have hope and patience.

Tags: gay, Gay Pride Parade, Haebongchon, Homosexual, Itaewon, lesbian, Seoul, South Korea